Episode Guide-The Linguist
Plot
Claire asks Dr. Jennings Crawford, a linguist that she knows, to try to identify Trevor's
origins by his speech patterns. He comes to a singles group meeting
to get aquainted with Trevor without being obvious. At the meeting he
stuns Claire with the revelation that he is still a virgin, and
looking for true love. She realizes that he is quite sincere, and decides
to help him find a woman with whom he will have common interests. Of
course Trevor is also on the case to find Jenning's true love. While
Claire searches for a woman who is well educated and enjoys the same
kind of music, Trevor discovers that Jennings has a crush on Kate, the
woman who serves him in the cafeteria and sits in on his classes.
He finds out that Kate has a New York accent that she is desperately
trying to get rid of for better employment opportunities as a chef.
He sets up an exchange between Jennings and Kate: meals in exchange
for speech lessons. What follows is an endearing take on "My Fair Lady".
The surprise is that Jennings, who comes across as a well bred upper
class man, is actually from the wrong side of the tracks in Boston.
He spent years getting rid of his accent as well. As they fall in
love, Claire finds a woman for Jennings and sets him up to take this
woman to the faculty party. She shows up to inform Jennings of his
"perfect match" moments before Jennings was about to ask Kate to go
with him. Feeling trapped, he accepts Claires invitation to go out
with the other woman, and Kate feels hurt. At the dinner party, you see
that the "perfect match" is really just a boring snob, and Jennings
is clearly bored with her. Kate is serving at the party, and Jennings
asks her to go out with him. Loudly. In front of all of his peers.
In his old accent... Another happy match for Trevor.
Interesting note: Kate is played by Jessica Lundy from Hope and Gloria.
Quotes
Claire: "So... how are you doing? Any romantic prospects out on the lunatic
fringe?" Trevor: [talking on phone] Look, lady… there's no "Albert" here. Mmm
Hmm, that IS the right number. Look… uh, who am I? I'm the god of love,
why? You want me to hook you up? Huh? Aren't YOU the tiger! I tell you what
passion kettle… Look, for the last time, we are fresh out of "Alberts." Trevor: Hey. What? Trevor: I believe in truth in advertising. Trevor: I've been thinking.
Trevor, discussing the possibilities of starting his own religion.
Trevor: "Are you allowed to talk to me that way?"
Claire: "Yes."
Trevor: "No."
Claire: "'No', no I'm not? Or 'no' no romantic prospects?"
Trevor: "Yes."
Claire: "I'm not playing this game."
Trevor: "Not very well at least."
Claire: You know what? You're the semantics grand champion.
You win."
Champ: Trevor, NO! Give me the phone!
Trevor: Well, you know what, there IS an Albert here but he fell off his roof…
we're just squatting in his apartment until the ganja runs out.
Champ: GIVE ME THE PHONE! [grabs it] Momma?
Trevor: Oh no… I thought your name was Champ?
Champ: STAGE name!
Trevor: You CHOSE that name?
Champ: Look… stage names… if you can't think of one, they say you should
take the name of your first pet.
Trevor: Wow. There's nothing wrong with Albert.
Champ: Well, you obviously didn't grow up black and overweight in America
then.
Trevor: You donut know that. [as "Fat Albert"] Hey, hey, hey!
Champ: You mind deciphering this for me?
Trevor: That is a note about your audition for Sunset & Vaughn. 2:00, how'd it
go?
Champ: Well I had a little problem, see.
Trevor: You did? What happened?
Champ: I got the time wrong.
Trevor: Why is that?
Champ: To us MORTALS, this looks like an 11! [Trevor uses Roman
numerals!]
Trevor: Yeah?
Champ: You know, I hope you don't take this in the wrong way... because I
have nothing but love for the mentally ill... I wouldn't give a damn if you
thought you were the Ayatollah Kohmeni if you picked up after yourself, paid
your rent on time, and got me my messages! But no, that's not the case... and
this was strike three. So as soon as you can find you another place, you're out.
Trevor: The Ayatollah would suck as a roommate. Just so you know.
Claire: No, you don't.
Trevor: You're right, I don't, let me tell you why…
Claire: I'm am not interested.
Trevor: But you're well proportioned, that counts for something.
Claire: InterestED, not interestING.
Trevor: And you smell good
Claire: I thought I heard something.
My religion's gonna be fun. Cupidians will cruise through the airport with a
small cup that says "Keg Fund.
Music from the Episode
KC and the Sunshine Band - That's the Way (I Like It)
Sugar Blues - Gucci Gucci Man
Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown - Got My Mojo Working
The Pretenders - I'll Stand By You
Paul Burlison - Train Kept A-Rollin'
Diana Krall - Teach Me Tonight
Guest Appearances
Paul Adelstein....Mike
Rengin Altay....Janet
Daniel Bryant....Laurence
Robert Bundy....Hunter
Mary Kay Cook....Prostitute
Tim Dekay....Jennings Crawford
James Deuter....Dean Wetland
Jessica Lundy....Kate
Jeff Parise....Nick
Heather Prete...Co-ed Hottie
Hollis Resnik
Brian Stepanek...Kevin
Transcript
Celtic Air has kindly transcribed the episode and has it on her
Cupid Website. Here is a
direct link to her transcript.
A complete script was also transcribed by the owner of Spread The Love
and can be found here
